LBC: Five Key Differences Between When I Started Lolita and Now

For my final post of 2017, I decided to answer this week's prompt from the Lolita Blog Carnival. I felt that this theme was really fitting since my journey within the fashion has taken me much further than I ever thought possible. This year was a HUGE year for me, and while it was pretty stressful, I learned so much about myself and the people around me. To me, it's extremely important to pause and reflect on one's actions, so if I get a bit emotional or wordy in this particular post, please just stick with me. A lot has happened in five years, so there's a lot to say.

I attended my first official Lolita meet-up with my community on Dec. 16th, 2012. I say "official" because I had actually attended one or two meets prior to that, but I didn't own any actual Lolita during those events.

My first coord ever, Dec. 2012.

At that time, my comm was fairly small (from my point-of-view) and also, pretty tight knit. There were some already established friend groups, but we had several mods and everyone was pretty nice to newbies, for the most part. However, as time passed, most of those mods moved on from the fashion, or moved entirely, and for a little while, our comm became a bit lifeless. With that in mind, the largest difference between my starting point in 2012 and now is definitely, without a doubt, my local community.

1. My Community

My community at our annual New Year's Meet-Up 2017.

One of my BFFs and I were having a discussion about the state of local Lolita communities in America the other day, and she said something that really struck a cord with me. "Most comms aren't like ours, J," were her words, and while I thought nothing of it at the time, it really hit me later when I started talking to, and meeting, the mods of other communities. Most comms *aren't* like mine, and I apologize if that sounds like boasting, but the steady decline of properly functioning, active communities across the States really makes me incredibly thankful for the group of people in my local area.

As I mentioned previously, when I became a Lolita in 2012, my comm was suffering a period of inactivity. After my first meet in December, we didn't have another meet-up until March 2013, and the next one after that wasn't until July 2013. It took us something close to FOUR MONTHS to have another meet in 2013, and that was the meet where I made a conscious decision: if the current members of the comm weren't going to do anything to make it more active, *I* would because I didn't want the community to fall apart. I throughly enjoyed wearing Lolita and the people I met while wearing it, and I didn't want to let it go.

Christmas meet-up, Dec. 2013.

At that fateful meet-up in July 2013, I met a lot of other newbies like myself, and made many new friends, almost all of which are still active members of my local comm. I vowed to make more meets and that's what I did: my friends and I started hosting events for whatever reason we could think of, whenever we could, because we didn't want the comm to die.

And boy, did we stay true to our word. It got to the point where people started booking meet-ups months in advance because the entire vibe of our group had changed. My fellow newbies and I worked together, and with our combined efforts, 2014 was a busy year, full of meets. 2015 was very much the same. 

My birthday meetup, Sept. 2014

It was during this swing of activity that I noticed many of the previous mods were still inactive. I also noticed that there were a few people who weren't treating their fellow comm members well, myself included. Since the mods weren't very active anymore, I was nervous about turning to them, so, like I usually do, I turned to myself. That particular situation, combined with the fear of our comm failing and falling to the wayside is what prompted me to request to be a mod of my local community in June 2015.

I had never been a mod of a fashion community before but I had been a supervisor at my job previously. I also had been in charge of other extracurricular groups in high school, so I did have *some* experience leading others. Our community was getting bigger and stronger, day-by-day and I couldn't; didn't want it to reach the point that it had in 2012, ever again.

The previous mods approved my request to become a mod and I was given "mod powers" on our local Facebook group. As of today, I've been a mod for 2 years and a Lolita for 5, but I feel like becoming a mod was the turning point in my Lolita journey.

I began to see a different side of people while also learning the delicate balance of being the designated representative for a community. People who I had never met before suddenly knew my name, even before I knew theirs. People who didn't care for me before were now eager to make amends. My voice, my opinions, my views; all suddenly came under scrutiny by both members of my comm and those outside of it.

I had an idea of what I was getting into when I asked to become a mod, but I don't think I truly knew, or realized, the gravity of it. To be fair, I don't think many Lolita mods ever do. Being a mod is an extremely thankless job and I sometimes feel like the Lolita community at large forgets that our position is purely voluntary. However, I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

I *love* being a mod.

The positives of my position within my community far outweigh the negatives. I truly love seeing my community flourish and grow. I'm thrilled to see my comm members enjoy themselves and each other. I strive to ensure that my members have a safe and positive experience whenever we all get together as a group, but lately, I've been able to share some of that burden with my fellow members. My comm and my "modship" are the biggest difference between now and when I started as a baby Lolita in 2012 because without either, I would not have learned so much about myself.

If you haven't heard me say it before, everyone, I'll say it now: I love my Metroplex Comm. I cherish you guys so much and I thank you for always standing by me and supporting me, even when I feel like I've let you down. Let's stick together for a very long time, <3

2. My Friends

Me and my BFFs!

Since I spoke a bit about my comm and how I've met so many amazing and wonderful people through the fashion, I wanted to touch on a few of the friendships that I've made through this fashion.  2017 was the Year of Lolita Travel for me. I attended many events specifically for Lolita fashion and for the first time ever, I was invited somewhere as a fashion blogger!

I can't begin to mention every single person I've encountered, but all of you are fantastic, kind, beautiful people. If I say too much more, I'll start bawling and then this post will never get finished, T_T  Instead, I'll just say that our bond may have began through poofy dresses, but it goes so much further than that. Have some pictures!

Dec. 2017.

Winter ILD 2017.

Birthday meet-up, Sept. 2014.

San Japan 2016.

3. Project: A-Kon

A-Kon official logo, I do not own!

Oh A-Kon, where do I begin? For those unaware, Project A-Kon is a 30,000+ attendee anime convention in my home state. Three years ago, myself and a few members of my comm took on the task of creating a new J-Fashion program for the convention. Two years ago, I became the Staffhead of the newly formed department.

Working with the con has been an amazing, eye-opening experience. I've learned my personal limits while working with A-Kon, but I've also learned so much about the convention industry and guest relations through the con. I won't say too much because I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I've also improved my own skills in event planning and social media marketing/advertising based on my work there. Specifically, I honestly don't think I would have been able to co-host the 2017 Statewide Winter ILD meet-up without the knowledge that I gained from the con.

A-Kon 2016 Lolita Tea Party, photo courtesy of the Lolita Collective.

Because of A-Kon, I've also been able to meet prominent figures within the J-fashion community. Since our guests change every year, I've been able to interact and team-up with people I never would have encountered just five years ago.

A-Kon 2017 Lolita Tea Party.

Even now, my team and I are planning out the details for the A-Kon J-Fashion program in 2018. We've come such a long way as a program and I can only hope that we continue to move forward. Also, thanks to Micro A-Kon, I got to be a fashion guest for the first time in my life! ME! A fashion guest! I still can't believe it, honestly.

My coord for Micro A-Kon 2017.

4. Taobao (and the Accessibility of Lolita)

Lost Forest's Stock photo, I don't own!

It wouldn't be a Saxonblues post if I didn't mention Taobao! Over the years, I've become an expert at finding and purchasing beautiful items from the hundreds of Taobao shops floating across the Internet. Without Taobao, I honestly don't think I would have ever started my blog or continued it, so I feel that it should be mentioned. The emergence of the Chinese Lolita scene is something that I'm keeping my eyes on because the most recent explosion has been incredibly helpful to the Lolita community at large.

Also, just the simple fact that Lolita is so much easier to get now than it was five years ago bears mentioning. I know that people who have been in the fashion longer than I have will say it was much tougher 10 or 15 years ago, but I can only speak from my own perspective.

Thanks, Taobao, for fueling my shopping problem, haha.

5. My Style

My first coord of 2017.

My personal Lolita style has morphed into something that I finally feel like I can be proud of. When I first began the fashion, I had no idea what type of Lolita I wanted to be, so my coords were all over the place. Even now, I have a really diverse wardrobe, but only recently has it become something that I truly feel suits me.

I've bought and sold so many dresses, I honestly can't keep count, so the fact that only a few dresses have made it from the beginning of this journey to today is honestly a testament of just how much I love them.

Coord from PAX South 2017.

Lately, I've been dabbling in Gothic Lolita and I have to say, I am really enjoying it. I also find it really interesting that my interpretation of Gothic Lolita is so different from other Lolitas, like my best friend, who wears Gothic exclusively.

Coord from Dec 2017.

One thing I've learned over the last five years is that everything that *can* fit me, is not *for* me. Some things just suit my body shape or height better than others, and it's taken me quite a long time to find -- that's totally okay.

As I experiment and play around with colors and themes more and more, I've realized that I'm extremely meticulous when it comes to coord planning because I want people to look at my coords and say "This reflects you." I think that's also why my coords are so all over the place, too. Some days, I feel like being adorable and Sweet; other days, I want to feel elegant, and I'm sure many Lolitas can relate to that.

I'm curious to see how my style progresses in the future, especially because lately, I've felt like I've reached my peak with my coords. I'm notorious for purchasing one-and-done dresses, and I feel like my other pieces get ignored when I do that, so the phrase of 2018 will definitely be "coord versatility". 

Overall, I'm just so thankful. I know I keep saying that over and over, but I would never have been able to do all the things I've done in the last five years without support from literally hundreds of people. To go from the girl at the top of this post to myself today has been a challenge: mentally, emotionally, and physically. I'm so happy that I've reached this point and all I can do is strive to move forward. I sincerely hope that I'll be able to write another post like this one when I reach my 10-year Lolitaversary, but if I don't, I'll still have all these wonderful memories.

Thanks for sticking with me through this wordy, emotional post. I can't forget to thank you, my awesome readers, too. I teared up twice while writing this, but it was absolutely worth it. I'll be back with a post next week, with a (possibly) controversial topic that was proposed on the Lolita Blog Carnival. I hope you'll come back and read that one too!

Until next time, my wonderful readers~!

Stay beautiful, stay true,

~J