LBC: Essentials of Running a Well Balanced Comm

After last week's post, I promised I'd be back with a slightly controversial topic to discuss. Well, I'm finally here to deliver! This week's prompt on the Lolita Blog Carnival is "What Do You Believe is Essential to Running a Well Balanced Comm?"

As a mod, I willingly admit that I've experimented on my comm a lot. From games to rules, we've found the way to manage our community with a lot of trial and error. That being said, I'll preface my entire post by saying that every comm is different -- some groups can manage themselves differently than others, and that's absolutely ok. However, I find that the basics are very much the same across the board. The first thing we all need to do as mods is remember from the very start that our positions are on a volunteer basis and let's be honest: it's no where near as glamorous or desired as people make it sound like. Being a mod means being the backbone of your community and sometimes that also entails being the bad guy. It sucks, but someone's gotta do it, right?

So, you want to establish a well balanced comm and you have no idea where to begin. For starters, you should probably have a comm first, XP While the process of starting a comm is an entirely different topic, there is one universal truth across all communities that I believe is the *most* essential aspect of running a comm -- the rules.

1. Have Rules (and Follow Them!)

My comm's rules, from our FB page!

Having ground rules for your community is 100% necessary. There's no way around it, and avoiding it will just make things worse for everyone. Establishing these rules and enforcing them is the best way to keep your comm balanced. My motto is "plan for the worst, hope for the best". No one expects someone in their community to steal from a fellow member or be unkind, but when it happens, it's best to be prepared for those situations.

The rules for a community don't have to be anything crazy or extremely strict, but they need to be established. They also need to be documented. If the rules change, all members of the community need to be notified of these changes the moment they're enacted. This will prevent people from breaking rules unknowingly, and also, prevent a mod from turning into an unreasonable tyrant. No one wants an unreasonable tyrant as a mod, X_X

Once the rules are created, you will have to enact some form of punishment for breaking the established rules. In my community, we have a three strike policy for most cases and an immediate banning for those extreme cases. We very rarely have to ban people, but when we do, it's usually for a really good reason. Speaking of banning, that brings me to my next point.

2. Drop the Ban Hammer

I do not own!

Guys, I know this will sound really harsh, but there's no other way around it: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO BAN PEOPLE. I can't stress this enough. As a mod, we have to bite the bullet and remove the bad eggs from our communities. If we can't clean house, we'll be dirty forever, and no one likes to be dirty on purpose, lol. Enacting a ban on a particularly unruly member is not fun, but if there is someone in your community that is constantly breaking rules, constantly causing trouble, constantly bringing drama to your doorstep They. NEED. To. Go. Seriously, kick them out.

Earlier, I mentioned that being a mod is a wholly volunteer position. Well, as a volunteer, you are not being paid to put up with anyone's BS, and you owe it to yourself, and your fellow comm members, to have a peaceful community at all times. I'm not saying every single member needs to hold hands and sing Kumbaya at any given moment, but no one is getting paid to deal with Bad Attitude Betty, who slapped Suzy at last week's tea party because she accidentally bumped into her. Don't be afraid to remove people and don't be ashamed of it either -- that's part of doing your job and keeping your comm safe.

A good rule of thumb before enacting a ban is to speak to all parties involved first. Look at the situation and ask yourself if the perpetrator is likely to repeat those actions. If the answer is yes, don't waste anymore time and get them out. If the answer is no, perhaps more moderation is required and the parties involved can have a "Come-to-Jesus" moment and realize the error of their ways. If not, show 'em where the door is.

3. Be Present

My comm at a meet-up!

If you want your community to flourish, they need to know that you're actually there to support them, back them up, and protect them. While that *can* be done online, given the fact that most comms are on Facebook, actually letting your members see your face in person can give both them and you a boost of confidence, and also, it fosters a better relationship between a mod and the comm. I personally can't attend every single meet my comm hosts, and I don't think anyone expects me to, but I try to do so because I want my members to see that I support them, just as they support me.

It also helps to physically be present in the case of any incidents. If a mod is actually at a meet-up, people are less likely to do things that break the comm's rules, or, in the instant of a he-said, she-said case, the mod can serve as a witness when trying to solve disputes or problems.

Let me be clear by saying that I don't think a mod needs to be present to watch over everyone all the time. If your comm is anything like mine, we have so many meets that it's damn near impossible to go to every single one of them. But it helps, and it makes the members feel more assured in your ability to mod for them.

4. Be Active

I do not own!

One of the biggest complaints I see online are about inactive mods. Personally, I don't understand the point of being a mod if you have no desire to interact with your own community, but that's neither here nor there. 

As a mod, if you want to have a healthy, well balanced comm, you need to have communication and interaction with the people in your community. No one wants anything to do with a mod they don't see or speak to. This is especially true when a community is inactive as a whole. Fostering discussions, planning meet-ups, and helping others to plan meet-ups are all part of helping the community flourish and stay active. Lately, I've been really proud of my comm because members are coming up with unique ideas on their own that will keep our comm going for a while.

Being active also helps when there are disputes and issue that need to be resolved. If it takes a mod over a week to respond to an issue, then comm members are less likely to report incidents when they occur and issues will have time to fester, and get worse. Even if I can't reply to a person right away, I'm always sure to let them know "I'll get back to you when I can" or "I'm not at home right now, but when I'm home, we'll talk." Just letting them know that you have the time to hear them out, and listen to whatever concerns they have in a timely matter helps make those around you feel more comfortable and assured.

If you're an inactive mod and you want to become more active, there's no time like the present! One thing I like to do is come out with monthly updates at the beginning of the month to let everyone in the comm know what's happening and when. I'll also post discussion posts every now and again, just to get my members talking and spur some sort of activity on the community page.

However, if a mod feels like they will never have the time to dedicate to watching over the community, it may be best to reconsider your position as a mod. That brings me to my final point...

5. Be Honest

Lol, I don't have a picture for this one, but when it all comes down to it, be honest with yourself and your members. If you're too tired or too stressed out by being a mod, take a step back and re-evaluate your goals, and your /position within the community. I've said this over and over in this post and in others, but modding is voluntary. You don't have to deal with anything you don't want to and you don't have to be a mod at all, if you don't want to do it. 

The fact that mods do everything that we do in our spare time is something that a lot of members know, but many don't realize the scope of what the position entails. We deal with a lot of ridiculousness behind closed doors, and also in the public eye. It can get emotional and stressful, so realize that above all else: you are doing this because you wanted to and if you reach a point where you don't want to anymore... then don't. 

You don't vanish off the face of the Earth, but let your fellow mods know clearly and plainly that the effort is no longer worth the emotional toll that it takes on you. Talk to your members and find out how you guys can move forward as a group if you're no longer going to be modding. Tell them if you plan to take a leave of absence or hand over your modship to another; but don't let them fly blind or play the guessing gaming because that's how rumors and misinformation spreads.

Communication is so important as a mod, especially as a community grows in size. Be clear and open with your members about what your plans are and what you expect of them as members of the community. At the end of the day, realize that while the health of a comm truly is a team effort, be honest with yourself and the role you play in the community's experience as a whole.

As a dear friend has said to me on many occasions, "A comm is only as good as their mods." If a comm does poorly, most times, it has more to do with the leadership of that community, as opposed to anything else.

I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings with this post, or make anyone feel attacked by it, but I wanted to follow my own beliefs and be honest with you, especially to those of you who are mods. It's my sincere hope that the Lolita fashion continues to flourish and the only way to do so is to ensure that our communities are accepting, safe places for all Lolitas. We can't do that if we allow the same people to break us apart and destroy our communities over drama, bickering, bullying, and not adhering the rules of each community, both locally and abroad. 

Hopefully, this "controversial" post serves as a helpful guide to the new mods out there, and if not, maybe as a word of caution/advice to any comm members that are reading. I have a package on the way so I should be back with a review soon, and if not, the LBC might vote on another interesting topic for me to write about.

Oh! If you'd like to check out the other LBC member's posts on this topic, you can find them with these links!

The Bloody Tea Party
Poppy Noir
Fleur d'Elise
Stardust Dreams

I apologize for ranting and raving on this post too, lol. I've been a bit wordy lately, XP As always, thanks for reading! See you next time!

Stay beautiful, stay true,

~J